If you suffered a painful breakup then you need to give yourself plenty of time to heal before you even consider starting over again. If you jump into another relationship you can pretty much guarantee you will repeat the same mistakes that brought you to the end of your last relationship.
That’s because the Universe will continue providing you with experiences to learn each life lesson until you finally “get it.” So give yourself time to process the lessons from your past relationships before looking for another partner. Doing so will put you in the best possible place for recognizing a new love.
I use the term ‘recognize’ because the person you are supposed to be with is already out there. He or she is waiting to meet you, just like you are waiting to meet them. It’s not until you are both putting out the same receiving energy that you will connect. At that point you will recognize who you are meant to be with and why. In fact, it is often when you are matched with your true soulmate that you will realize why you had to go through the pain that came first.
Tosha Silver is the author of Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead, a book about abundance. Instead of the common belief of abundance that says we create what we wish for, Tosha takes it another step further.
Tosha believes that the Divine – the Universe – already knows what we need, what is best for us. She guides her readers to open up to the Divine, asking to be changed into the person who can receive the gifts they are already destined to have. She calls these requests Change Me prayers. Saying a prayer each day to whoever you consider your Divine to be is a way to prepare yourself for the arrival of your soul mate and connection.
Please Change Me into someone
who can feel wildly open to receiving.
Let me know my own value, beauty and
worthiness without question.
Let me allow others the supreme pleasure of giving to me.
Let me feel worthy to receive in every possible way.
And protect me dear Lord from those whose hearts
may be closed. Let me extend kindness to all who need,
feeling compassion and understanding
in even the hardest situations.
Change me into One who can fully love, forgive
and accept myself… so I may carry your Light
Let everything that needs to go, go.
Let everything that needs to come, come.
I am utterly Your own.
Calling in the One
Katherine Woodward Thomas is a life coach and author of Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. Katherine also teaches a course of the same name. She takes readers through 49 days of activities to prepare themselves for receiving the love they deserve. She bases her book on the Law of the Attraction and so emphasizes the importance of being open to love.
Katherine discusses many of the blocks people have from past relationships which can interfere with the attraction process. By leading her readers through exercises designed to heal from past relationships, she sets the foundation for future love. She uses meditation, visualization, and journaling exercises to clear the baggage each person carries with them in order to be prepared for a healthy relationship. She shares her own experiences in a honest and refreshing manner:
For years I made my desire to meet “The One” the central drama of my life. Now, I finally understand the difference between wanting something and being ready to have it. As I began to take responsibility at a whole new level for my covert attitudes and hidden agendas, I found myself releasing the resistance I had to being open to love. For the first time in my adult life, I became truly available to create a loving, committed romantic union.
Meeting Your Match
A different way of approaching a search for a romantic love is discussed by Amy Webb in her book Data, A Love Story: How I Gamed Online Dating to Meet My Match. Amy was an inexperienced online dater who wanted to meet the man of her dreams. She created an awkward online dating profile that was simply her resume with an unflattering picture of herself. After discovering that the profile was a bad idea, she got more creative.
Amy studied ‘successful profiles’ for the code to dating success. She looked at profiles belonging to women who received tons of responses and devised a spreadsheet based on what she saw as an easily proven formula. It doesn’t ruin the ending to tell you she found her prince charming. In fact, she starts out the book by telling you she found her true love by using her online dating strategy.
I want to tell you from the outset that my story has a happy ending. I eventually met the man of my dreams, and we had a storybook wedding. We started a family, brought a great house, and are in the process of living happily ever after. But the events that led up to me finding him and settling down were sometimes harrowing, were often depressing, and at one point involved me taking a trip with a color-coded set of spreadsheets to a therapist…We’re complex beings. If you want true love and a long-lasting marriage then you need to start by figuring out what makes you happy.
Happily Ever After
Most likely it is a combination of all of these things that set you up for being in the right place at the right time to greet your soulmate. You need to know what drives your happiness, trust that the Divine already knows, and then clear the clutter from your heart so that you can receive. That’s when you will meet the person you were destined to be with.
What Do You Think?
What do you think is the best way to find that special someone? Have you been successful before? Do you know of a friend that has? We would love to hear your thoughts below!